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Updated: Feb 17, 2020

Limiting thoughts are like spiderwebs that block your neurons from communicating in a logical manner.

You could spend your entire life running around in circles in your head. Faced with a challenge, you could rationally think: “You I can. Yes, it’s my thing. That’s what I like. I have what it takes. I’m more than ready.”

But then you crash into the spiderweb and the thoughts change to: “No. Things could go wrong. I’ll be the laughing stock. It’s going to cost a lot. It will be too difficult. I don’t have what it takes. It’s going to be so embarrassing.”

The spiderweb always wins. Because it was woven while you were a young child and effectively controls your life: the subconscious mind. Actually, it seems as solid as if it had been woven with cement.

However, it is not. It only “seems”.

The truth is that it is only a spiderweb, which means that it only takes a touch to dispel it.

What are those spiderwebs? They are lies that we have believed since childhood. And those lies - completely irrational - are in full control of our lives.

Pauline, a client, realized that one of her spiderwebs was woven when she was only 4 years old. She was in a street market looking at the rabbits on sale, when her mother got tired of telling her that it was time to leave. Since she was not reacting, her mother pretended to abandon her.

When she looked around and noticed that she had been “abandoned”, Pauline felt a terrible sense of panic. In her own words, “my heart started to beat at 200km per hour. I felt as if it was the end; that someone was suffocating me; that there was no one there to help me.”

And worse still: “I felt that I could die, and nobody would give a damn”.

Today, Pauline is 58 years old. What happens when a person that she loves - for example, a man - starts to behave more independently? She immediately feels that the man will “abandon” her. Her nervous system recreates exactly the same sensation that she felt at 4 years of age, the same sense of panic: her heart starts to beat at 200km per hour and she feels as if she will die and nobody gives a damn about it.

What’s the result of reliving that experience?

It’s self-evident: she will do everything in her power to prevent the man from abandoning her: humiliate herself, accept injustices, ignore disrespectful behavior, beg for love.

Absolutely anything is better than being abandoned. That experience was far too painful.

So, how do we dissipate that spiderweb?

This is where NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, comes in. With this effective technique, a coach guides you to visit that traumatic moment of your life and analyze the veracity of the thoughts that accompanied it. Once you discover those thoughts were a big lie, they start to crumble.

In Pauline’s case, together we analyzed those thoughts and she became conscious of their falsehood: of course it was a lie that “it was the end”, that “there was no one there to help her”, that she “could die and nobody would give a damn”.

The truth is that anyone could have helped her. The truth is that it was not the end of anything. The truth is that she was not going to die and many people loved her deeply, including her mother. The truth is that her mother had not abandoned her.

The truth is that there was no need to panic! What was needed was to stay calm and simply ask for help.

When she became conscious of the truth, I guided her to relive this old memory, but this time fully aware of the truth. This allowed her to create completely new feelings associated with that memory. In truth, we created a new memory to replace the old one. The result? the spiderweb dissipated instantaneously.

The Bible expressed it like this thousands of years ago: “You will know the truth; and the truth will set you free”.

The next time that Pauline confronted the possibility of abandonment, it was no longer an emotional trigger for her. Her subconscious whispered: “It’s not what you think. You are safe. And you are deeply loved”

I believe it is high time for you to do a profound spring cleaning of your subconscious mind and get rid of those spider webs!


If you want to get rid of your spiderwebs, let’s have a chat. Click on this link and set up a free appointment:

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