As an expert in teaching women who are “too nice” become kick-ass, I’m constantly confronted with all the different ways that women sabotage ourselves from having the intimate relationship we crave so much.
While there are a million different stories because we are all unique, there are however clear patterns that come up over and over again. Here IS the biggest mistake of all:
You don’t know your value!
When we don’t know our value, we accept deplorable behavior from other people. It could be a boyfriend, a husband, a boss, a colleague… whoever it is, they feel they have the freedom to disrespect us in all sorts of ways: putting us down, ignoring our wishes, not apologizing to us, not being courteous.. or outright insulting us or treating us with contempt.
We accept this because we think this is normal. We probably grew up in a home where our feelings were not taken into account, our wishes were not validated, and where we got used to being treated as a second-class citizen.
We accept this because we are afraid of the other person's reaction. We fear them throwing a tempter tantrum, yelling at us, or taking revenge on us.
We accept this because when we dare to ask for what we want, or make demands, or exercise our rights, we feel guilty.
We accept this because we think that putting ourselves last is being a "good Christian" or a "good person".
But there is hope!
When we finally discover our value, our ENTIRE life changes.
Because.... If I am aware of my value:
- I will only be attracted to gentlemen who value me and treat me as a lady
- I will leave the person or place where I am not being treated right
- I will only feel good with individuals who respect me
- I will automatically gravitate towards people who deserve me
- I will naturally be repelled by individuals who want to take advantage of me
- I will value my talents, take the time to cultivate them and surround myself with people who value them as well
- I will take my desires seriously and become very clear as to what I want
How can I value myself, you might ask?
It is a process - that’s the short answer.
The long answer is:
- You need to have someone who believes in you before you can believe in yourself - this is the single most important, most effective thing you can do.
- You need to adopt a different attitude
- You need to become aware of your triggers
- You need to take responsibility for your emotional state
If you have come from a culture where women systemically have less value than men, it will take a cultural shift as well. Your own family might not approve of you anymore. But… it is worth it!
I think all women - especially if you think you didn’t come from the “right” family, the “right” culture or the “right” environment - can learn a lot from Meghan Markle’s life…. she saw herself fit to marry a prince. And she did.
If you would like to have someone believe in you before you can believe in yourself and guide you in developing self worth, then let's talk.
Let me be really honest with you here: if you haven't figured this stuff out on your own until now, it only means one thing: you need outside help - as simple as that.
My assurance to you is this: once you value yourself, you will transform into a desirable woman who will never again be attracted to an asymmetric relationship where she is treated as less than. Instead, you will attract an above-average man who is ready to treat you like a lady. This is guaranteed.
If this is what you are craving, book a free discovery session with me at this link: https://emotionalStrength.as.me/becomeKickAss
But only if you are really serious about this stuff and ready to commit yourself to your own transformation.
With love and compassion,