That's right. I used to be a codependent.
Also known as a woman who is "too nice".
Also known as a woman who "takes a lot of shit from other people".
I took a lot of shit from my ex-husband.
I kept my mouth shut in the face of injustice so many times, all in the name of harmony.
I would run after him, even after he would denigrate me. Because codependents can't tolerate the discomfort of others.
His happiness was my happiness. His unhappiness was my fault.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I was living for his dreams. I had forgotten mine and all my energy revolved around him... and making him happy.
Narcissists will take everything they can from you and then more.
They are unhappy with their own selves, but instead of owning up to that, they will try to make you feel as bad as they feel themselves.
Their angry outbursts and name calling will slowly erode your self-esteem.... and to preempt their next explosion, you will become an expert at walking on egg shells.
I lived like that for 20 years...
The need to please... the belief that others are always more important than ourselves... the desire to be liked...
All of that will make us bend ourselves backwards for our partner... and in the process lose even more of our self-confidence, our self-respect and our self-love.
To be continued....